Why do we lose our temper?
We feel upset over certain issues or something or someone not meeting our
expectations we tend to lose our cool. That particular moment we are not
prepared to listen and we just want to offload our feelings - speak our mind.
Many times we do not even want to find out the reality of the situation but
blast someone instantly.
DO you regret afterwards?
Then why do we do it? We are governed by our strong belief system at times
which leads us to fact that we are totally justified in shouting / getting
angry. Majority of times we don't even care where we are and who else is looking
at the fiasco (hungama).
In the business environment we need to take care in controlling our temper as
it has a tremendous impact on the opposite person and others surrounding you.
You may be totally right and justified in addressing your views but anger means
you are making the other person very defensive inwardly. The motivation and
respect for you is lost. They start incubating fear and hatred towards you
although they may acknowledge that you were right.
By being Assertive and checking /questioning / understanding - you will be
able to assess the situation/ scenario before you begin to point out firmly the
area of inefficiency/ fault/ errors. This method provides far better results in
retaining respect for you and themselves. It means you are justified and
fair in pulling them up for their errors.
Many childhoods are affected by Violent Parental upbringing which leads to
Adulthood being marred by people who are dominant or abusive at work. Nobody
likes to be shouted at and one who can handle it firmly and positively wins the
opponent. If you are right then you have to be RIGHT to convince the other
person you are Right - rather than thrashing them with forceful behaviour.
We always look for confidence in staff to address and handle customers/
colleagues/ peers etc but we are the ones who don't support them and just blame
them. It is our duty to develop staff to overcome their mistakes and meet your
(reasonable) expectations. We all rise through ranks by learning and making
mistakes. Someone must have given you the chance in life to get you where you
are today. We need to do the same.
Anger destroys us - as it does really bother us afterwards for wrongful
words/ actions - many a times for destroying or breaking things / relations etc.
We lose the temper - automatically - something triggers it off - we are off
the handle. If only you can change that trigger mechanism it may help you to
start with and then followed by rational thinking.
Practical Tips, Exercises and Case
Studies would be ideal to show you how to control your temper. Anger Management
seminar will help you - to overcome this weakness specially at work.
Bip Parmar - Lifezone Training